Losing interest in world and search for true guru

Every passing day I am losing interest in the world and wanting to live alone and practice some sort of sadhana. I did sadhana from  15 yr old, i started seeing very bad visions and bad effects starting happening in house and family memebers but I was feeling very blissful from inside..ever since then I have been searching for a true guru who can guide me towards sadhana to open my inner limitations and go towards samadhi, i have already achieved some high mudras from hath yog pradipika like khechari but no guru..can you please tell me when I will find a true guru..i deeply feel i will never get a guru and get stuck in money and extravagent life