pranam, Respected members, please someone help me understand and overcome my problem.
I have become very underconfident and awkwardly shy, Earlier I was the most confident and jolly teenager, everyone loved me, nowadays this quality is mostly burried and comes out rarely. most of the time I am shy and hideout or just dont socialize. people automatically thinks I am arrogant and I have a a problem with the, these same people after knowing me told me how the first time they thought I was an arrogant person and later they realised how nice I am!!
I always treat people with kindness and try to be good to everyone. But from childhood I have seen a pattern going on in my life, have seen my friends (females) spreading rumours about me, going too far just to make a bad impression of me, trying to mislead my other friends who like me, to go against me.(everytime I got to know about these things very late,when there was no chance of speaking up for myself or confronting them).
Now also I got to know something(I am in an institution and live in hostel inside the campus): I use to take care of a puppy,people whom I considerd friends named that puppy after me, they also taught other girls of the hostel that the puppys name is “my name” ,after I shifted into a new hostel. And I got to know about it and that day only they very casually told me that see that’s you pointing at that puppy! I was so shocked but also kept thinking if I should react or not,I was so overwhelmed. I have seen I always get friends who eventually get jealous and try to supress me, then I walk away from them,but what they do behind my back, I get to know this after so long that there is no chance to take any action, this time I walked away from them, plz tell me why do these things happen to me, these things have affected my personality a lot, infact I have stopped interacting with people,and always have this feeling that they might judge me,plz help